I dont want to love you anymore!

Sometimes she wonders to herself how much is enough to don a real time role?

Here she is trying to be the bestest wife on earth but when the other person just takes her for granted, that is when such a question arise. She knew in many case between a couple, things don’t vibe well but still one hopes that things may get better but fact is that never happens.

The biggest mistake of her life was her current second pregnancy…really that was the biggest mistake because only during this pregnancy did she saw the true colors of her selfish husband. He used to be a good husband but off late she realized that he is good when things are good…when things get sour around him, instead of solving that issue he runs away and looks at other ways to entertain himself. Thank God atleast during this pregnancy she finally saw this face of his!
Now its too late and she cannot abort this child but yes one thing is for sure, atleast now she understands her priorities of life and has genuinely sorted them out. I don’t think she being an emotional person would share her innermost feelings with him anywhere. She would respect him as a father and thats where this relationship would takes a full stop. This also doesn’t mean that she is looking to flirt or find love. She is going to get into grass root level services. Yes she does need capital, but once she is done with the delivery and the child becomes nine months old, she has decided to get into full-fledged professional life and this time she will have her own savings. She was a fool , from day 1 of her career, she had always given her pay check to her husband…biggest foolish stuff a wife should do…especially for a person who had married her for just being a convenient wife…love must have been the last reason!

Now she analyzes his circle of friends. She understands he is emotionally attached especially to his best friend Namitha, its very obvious that he has a huge crush on her, though Namitha would never accept him as Namitha loves money more than anything else…She never liked Namitha and always found her arrogant, the biggest mistake she though was trying to make friendship with her…She hates Namitha..To her Namitha will always be a no-one and I genuinely don’t like her too!
The worst part is that she had lost everything in this marriage, whatever gold her parents had provided, her career…She was flourishing in my career when he got his Mumbai break...She should have never agreed but being an emotional fool she agreed and was happy for his career. But today when he is doing better he has also shown me his true picture. He has never appreciated her, oh yes he does it at times but that’s his diplomatic nature, he is never genuine about it.

Only thing he does is to be very good to her relatives, again he is not genuine about it. He loves his mother more than anyone else in this world and when there were issues between both of them he obviously like a coward (which he is) stayed away and in his heart supported his mother and hated her.During those times, she was pregnant.
Sadly in this pregnancy he has always given her unhappiness on a daily basis. Not a day when she has not cried, in fact she has never cried so much in her entire life. She is so tired of being sad. He says that she has changed and don’t pamper him….has he ever thought why doesn’t she pamper him?
Suddenly he feels that he has got a cook for her, is consulting her in the best hospital, and have also allowed her to take a break in career then why can’t she just blindly love him. Fact is all this he is doing is to just show off himself in his group of people. A person who is so much concerned would first and foremost keep his wife emotionally happy and not stay away from her. His meetings get over by max 6 pm but he stills comes home late…well he does enjoy his female colleagues company more, though honestly he would never accept that because of his diplomatic nature…..Sometimes she wonders to herself whether she loves him maybe she respects him as he is father to her children but as a husband this is what she feels, ”I don’t want to love you anymore”